Want some stats? Think you're ready for the stats? Can you even handle the stats? I'll give you some stats, fool.
First bully encounter: age five
A kid named Joel on my t-ball team got mad at me for missing a ball, or wearing the wrong hat or something. I don't know. When I got back to the dugout he ripped my hat off and threw it on the ground and yelled at me. I just kind of stared at him; I didn't know what was going on.
A kid named Joel on my t-ball team got mad at me for missing a ball, or wearing the wrong hat or something. I don't know. When I got back to the dugout he ripped my hat off and threw it on the ground and yelled at me. I just kind of stared at him; I didn't know what was going on.
First realization of death: age four
An elderly lady whom I thought I was related to for years passed away. I loved her and her husband more than anyone, and when I was religious, I prayed for them for years after their deaths. The last time I saw her was hooked up to all kinds of tubes in a nursing home.
An elderly lady whom I thought I was related to for years passed away. I loved her and her husband more than anyone, and when I was religious, I prayed for them for years after their deaths. The last time I saw her was hooked up to all kinds of tubes in a nursing home.
First lie: age three
I didn't flat out lie, but it was a lie of omission. The same woman stated before had a bird's nest with some eggs in it for decoration, and it was sitting in a basket on the floor. Thinking they were fake, I began to examine the eggs and broke one. They didn't smell bad, so they couldn't have been freshly rotten, but I felt terrible about it for years, especially since she died and I never fessed up. That's probably where any my modern-day aversion to lying stems from.
I didn't flat out lie, but it was a lie of omission. The same woman stated before had a bird's nest with some eggs in it for decoration, and it was sitting in a basket on the floor. Thinking they were fake, I began to examine the eggs and broke one. They didn't smell bad, so they couldn't have been freshly rotten, but I felt terrible about it for years, especially since she died and I never fessed up. That's probably where any my modern-day aversion to lying stems from.
First fight: age nine
Jake was the standard not-too-bright bully. When you're a guy, wussy bullies like to try to pull crap when you're using the urinal for some reason. One day I'd had as much as I could take of his crap, so I finished up and just kept pretending until he got close, then bam! Slammed his forehead into the big metal flusher part. It had to hurt like hell; I'm surprised he didn't bleed or get a concussion. He left me alone after that. I kind of felt sorry for him, considering his dad was always in jail on meth charges and all, but someone else was likely to do much worse, I guess.
Jake was the standard not-too-bright bully. When you're a guy, wussy bullies like to try to pull crap when you're using the urinal for some reason. One day I'd had as much as I could take of his crap, so I finished up and just kept pretending until he got close, then bam! Slammed his forehead into the big metal flusher part. It had to hurt like hell; I'm surprised he didn't bleed or get a concussion. He left me alone after that. I kind of felt sorry for him, considering his dad was always in jail on meth charges and all, but someone else was likely to do much worse, I guess.
First religious exploration: age eleven
This was when I first began to question the foundations of all the religious stuff I'd been pumped with since childhood. I actually began to thoroughly study the texts of the religion, as well as the doctrines of others, and by twelve had made my first of several "conversions."
This was when I first began to question the foundations of all the religious stuff I'd been pumped with since childhood. I actually began to thoroughly study the texts of the religion, as well as the doctrines of others, and by twelve had made my first of several "conversions."
First invention: age nine
When I was a kid, I was smart. I designed a multitude of theoretical projectile weapons, as well as an artificial gravity generator and a working (or so I'm told by people who are better at math than I am) fuel injection system for jet engines. When I was thirteen, I used a couple computer programs to design a car that had excellent handling and got 32 miles per gallon.
When I was a kid, I was smart. I designed a multitude of theoretical projectile weapons, as well as an artificial gravity generator and a working (or so I'm told by people who are better at math than I am) fuel injection system for jet engines. When I was thirteen, I used a couple computer programs to design a car that had excellent handling and got 32 miles per gallon.
First political experience: age twelve
We've probably all heard me rambling about this story when I was intoxicated at some point or another. When I was in seventh grade I did a lot of thinking on how crappy things were, and wrote out longhand-style my ideal system of government, taking into account only the American system that I knew and a couple snippets of what I'd heard about Canada's system. The result was, basically, trade communism, only in a state-run form. The following year I found out that some dude with a rugged beard beat me to the punch, and furthermore thought that state-run anything blew. I agreed more with this other guy who didn't have a beard, but had still managed to die around sixty years before my idea.
We've probably all heard me rambling about this story when I was intoxicated at some point or another. When I was in seventh grade I did a lot of thinking on how crappy things were, and wrote out longhand-style my ideal system of government, taking into account only the American system that I knew and a couple snippets of what I'd heard about Canada's system. The result was, basically, trade communism, only in a state-run form. The following year I found out that some dude with a rugged beard beat me to the punch, and furthermore thought that state-run anything blew. I agreed more with this other guy who didn't have a beard, but had still managed to die around sixty years before my idea.
First public makeout: age thirteen
A lovely football game under a blanket. She was a lousy kisser.
First encounter with alcohol: age sixteen
I just ripped ass really loud in the computer lab, and there's a girl in here pretending not to have noticed. How can you not laugh out loud, or look, or something. Eh, whatever, screw her. It was a good, manly fart. I'm not apologizing. Anyway, my first encounter was also my first intoxication. Eighteen shots of rum in around three minutes having never had alcohol before will do that.
A lovely football game under a blanket. She was a lousy kisser.
First encounter with alcohol: age sixteen
I just ripped ass really loud in the computer lab, and there's a girl in here pretending not to have noticed. How can you not laugh out loud, or look, or something. Eh, whatever, screw her. It was a good, manly fart. I'm not apologizing. Anyway, my first encounter was also my first intoxication. Eighteen shots of rum in around three minutes having never had alcohol before will do that.
First time hitting a girl: age nine
Some girl who had a crush on me thought she'd demonstrate it by putting a crush on my naddies courtesy her knee. Since she spun me around and kneed me, I didn't really take the time to look and see who had done it, just uppercutted and punched her square in the teeth. She lost five baby teeth (I hope they were all babies) and I still have a scar on my ring and pinky knuckles in the shape of her two front teeth.
Some girl who had a crush on me thought she'd demonstrate it by putting a crush on my naddies courtesy her knee. Since she spun me around and kneed me, I didn't really take the time to look and see who had done it, just uppercutted and punched her square in the teeth. She lost five baby teeth (I hope they were all babies) and I still have a scar on my ring and pinky knuckles in the shape of her two front teeth.
First popular kids party: age thirteen?
For a loser, I managed to do what you're stereotypically supposed to want to do. Go out with all the cheerleader captains and go to lots of cool kids parties. Well, let me tell you something: One cheerleader captain was a shitty kisser, the other was just plain fucked up in the head, and the only good thing that ever came out of any of those parties was getting away with making out with three other girls in front of my girlfriend thanks to a nice little party game (and since my girlfriend was a dumb ho and one of them was her best friend, I relish that day indeed). A couple schools later, on the lookout for a new non-cheerleader captain ladyfriend, I ended up with a colour-guard captain. I was hesitant, because I'd had such bad experiences with captains in general. Since she'll be reading this, I'll just say that when people mock the colour-guard, there's a good reason...it's funny.
For a loser, I managed to do what you're stereotypically supposed to want to do. Go out with all the cheerleader captains and go to lots of cool kids parties. Well, let me tell you something: One cheerleader captain was a shitty kisser, the other was just plain fucked up in the head, and the only good thing that ever came out of any of those parties was getting away with making out with three other girls in front of my girlfriend thanks to a nice little party game (and since my girlfriend was a dumb ho and one of them was her best friend, I relish that day indeed). A couple schools later, on the lookout for a new non-cheerleader captain ladyfriend, I ended up with a colour-guard captain. I was hesitant, because I'd had such bad experiences with captains in general. Since she'll be reading this, I'll just say that when people mock the colour-guard, there's a good reason...it's funny.
First beer: age two
I didn't drink the whole thing or anything, but I was tugging at my uncle's pant leg because I was thirsty, so he handed me what he had in his hand. It just so happened to be a can of beer, which I took a giant gulp of and promptly spit out all over him.
First willing beer: age nineteen
It's surprising that after having had hard liquor at sixteen, it would take me three years to get around to having a beer. Fact is, I just don't really like beer (probably from that fond memory of when I was two), and I especially don't like light beer. Warsteiner is my weapon of choice when it comes to the beer department, although I can barely drink it out of a glass. Give me a nice lukewarm bottle and I'll tolerate it if I'm having a particularly bad day. Otherwise, just break out the potato-juice and do things Russian style. It's much easier.
I didn't drink the whole thing or anything, but I was tugging at my uncle's pant leg because I was thirsty, so he handed me what he had in his hand. It just so happened to be a can of beer, which I took a giant gulp of and promptly spit out all over him.
First willing beer: age nineteen
It's surprising that after having had hard liquor at sixteen, it would take me three years to get around to having a beer. Fact is, I just don't really like beer (probably from that fond memory of when I was two), and I especially don't like light beer. Warsteiner is my weapon of choice when it comes to the beer department, although I can barely drink it out of a glass. Give me a nice lukewarm bottle and I'll tolerate it if I'm having a particularly bad day. Otherwise, just break out the potato-juice and do things Russian style. It's much easier.
First tobacco: age nineteen
My first cigarette was at age nineteen when I went to a bar with a smoker friend. I never saw myself as someone who'd smoke cigarettes, but I found that they're actually quite good following alcohol. My first cigars followed very soon after, however due to the cost of both I do not smoke very often. I'm planning on cutting out cigarettes completely and limiting myself to cigars that do NOT suck. If you don't smoke halfway shitty cigars, that automatically doubles or triples the price you have to pay for them, making you smoke that much less.
My first cigarette was at age nineteen when I went to a bar with a smoker friend. I never saw myself as someone who'd smoke cigarettes, but I found that they're actually quite good following alcohol. My first cigars followed very soon after, however due to the cost of both I do not smoke very often. I'm planning on cutting out cigarettes completely and limiting myself to cigars that do NOT suck. If you don't smoke halfway shitty cigars, that automatically doubles or triples the price you have to pay for them, making you smoke that much less.
First green: age sixteen
This was the selfsame week (I think) that I had my first experience with liquor, and the only time I've driven under the influence of anything. I wasn't really altered, just had a headache and really, really wanted to know what Pizza Hut's specials were.
This was the selfsame week (I think) that I had my first experience with liquor, and the only time I've driven under the influence of anything. I wasn't really altered, just had a headache and really, really wanted to know what Pizza Hut's specials were.
First hangover: age sixteen
Yep, from the first night I drank, as well. I slept until noon or one-ish the following day and had a wretched hangover. I've never upchucked, though, and have never gone over my personal limit since then (unless I wanted to).
Yep, from the first night I drank, as well. I slept until noon or one-ish the following day and had a wretched hangover. I've never upchucked, though, and have never gone over my personal limit since then (unless I wanted to).
First sexual encounter: age thirteen?
I guess the first thing I'd really count would have been at a popular-kids party in a bedroom in someone's downstairs. I won't go into much detail, because someone I didn't really like busted in anyway so we just went outside behind a shed instead.
I guess the first thing I'd really count would have been at a popular-kids party in a bedroom in someone's downstairs. I won't go into much detail, because someone I didn't really like busted in anyway so we just went outside behind a shed instead.
First broken bone: age nine
My only broken bone was the pinky on my right hand. At least it's not that important of a bone, but it still gives me some trouble now and then and pops like crazy. I broke it owning one of my sister's friends on a jump-ball in some streetside basketball. My finger was broken down in the hand part of the bone for fully two weeks before my mom believed me and let me go to the doctor. They promptly splinted it only on the top part so that it remained broken for another two weeks before they realized where it was really broken.
My only broken bone was the pinky on my right hand. At least it's not that important of a bone, but it still gives me some trouble now and then and pops like crazy. I broke it owning one of my sister's friends on a jump-ball in some streetside basketball. My finger was broken down in the hand part of the bone for fully two weeks before my mom believed me and let me go to the doctor. They promptly splinted it only on the top part so that it remained broken for another two weeks before they realized where it was really broken.
First encounter with non Rx: age seventeen
Lost and depressed after being dumped over ICQ, and having it reaffirmed in my yearbook which was delivered by a third party, I decided I no longer had anyone to please and could let myself go to crap. Plus I was a depressive schizoid, but still. Let's see you get dumped in a yearbook and be happy about it. I'll just say that Jay Leno and a blacklight Jesus can be two of the scariest things you'll ever see.
Lost and depressed after being dumped over ICQ, and having it reaffirmed in my yearbook which was delivered by a third party, I decided I no longer had anyone to please and could let myself go to crap. Plus I was a depressive schizoid, but still. Let's see you get dumped in a yearbook and be happy about it. I'll just say that Jay Leno and a blacklight Jesus can be two of the scariest things you'll ever see.
First gang encounter: age thirteen
We've all probably heard this story multiple times, too. I unwittingly started, helped start, whatever, a gang that encompassed about half of my middle school and high school put together. It didn't last too long, but we made some lasting changes that I won't go into.
We've all probably heard this story multiple times, too. I unwittingly started, helped start, whatever, a gang that encompassed about half of my middle school and high school put together. It didn't last too long, but we made some lasting changes that I won't go into.
First sign of epilepsy: age nine
One day in class we had our little desks in a circle and were doing our reading time. All of a sudden I just felt dizzy and compelled to lie down, so I crawled under my desk and lied on the floor. The next thing I know the teacher is standing over me. Doctors kept misdiagnosing me as having allergies and I was on allergy medications for years, obviously to no avail. Finally I saw a neurologist who basically immediatly told me that the other doctors were fucking disgraces and that I was epileptic. Thus began a whole lot of fun having seizures during my sociology class and freaking people out. I'm going to die during a seizure some day. Just the way it goes. Painless, but long and humiliating.
One day in class we had our little desks in a circle and were doing our reading time. All of a sudden I just felt dizzy and compelled to lie down, so I crawled under my desk and lied on the floor. The next thing I know the teacher is standing over me. Doctors kept misdiagnosing me as having allergies and I was on allergy medications for years, obviously to no avail. Finally I saw a neurologist who basically immediatly told me that the other doctors were fucking disgraces and that I was epileptic. Thus began a whole lot of fun having seizures during my sociology class and freaking people out. I'm going to die during a seizure some day. Just the way it goes. Painless, but long and humiliating.
First computer: age ten
My uncle who's tried to murder his family multiple times and been arrested I don't know how many times for indecent exposure actually taught me the first things I learned about computers. My knowledge has definitely grown, and if I was told that I absolutely could not be an English teacher and had to pick something else right this moment, I'd apply to a technical institute to further my learning on these intriguing little machines that have so revolutionized all of our lives.
My uncle who's tried to murder his family multiple times and been arrested I don't know how many times for indecent exposure actually taught me the first things I learned about computers. My knowledge has definitely grown, and if I was told that I absolutely could not be an English teacher and had to pick something else right this moment, I'd apply to a technical institute to further my learning on these intriguing little machines that have so revolutionized all of our lives.
First sworn brother: age fourteen
Cairo was my first sworn brother, and though I haven't been able to be in his presence for a couple years due to certain legal matters that might cause the police to carry out some extreme prejudice against us, I'll still carry out my vows to him until my very death. As my only "older" sworn brother as well as the first, he holds a very unique place with me that I absolutely could not betray. Several have followed him in my brotherhood, and their blood runs through my veins; I would give all for each, stopping at nothing for them. This is the true nature of my blood, which I have given freely to all of them.
Cairo was my first sworn brother, and though I haven't been able to be in his presence for a couple years due to certain legal matters that might cause the police to carry out some extreme prejudice against us, I'll still carry out my vows to him until my very death. As my only "older" sworn brother as well as the first, he holds a very unique place with me that I absolutely could not betray. Several have followed him in my brotherhood, and their blood runs through my veins; I would give all for each, stopping at nothing for them. This is the true nature of my blood, which I have given freely to all of them.
Last bully encounter:
Getting "bounced" while accompanying a friend to a fraternity party that I didn't even want to go to. I was glad they turned us away, really, considering I'd have probably shot off my mouth and gotten ganked by greek ninjas.
Getting "bounced" while accompanying a friend to a fraternity party that I didn't even want to go to. I was glad they turned us away, really, considering I'd have probably shot off my mouth and gotten ganked by greek ninjas.
Last realization of death:
Recently a couple of people have made me realize the true extent of their betrayal of my good nature toward them. It's all right because I gave to them what I gave without asking anything in return. They showed me, though, the depths a foolish human can dig in order to destroy another person, and the expertise with which certain people can craft their masks. Though they have caused the death of a part of me, another part is being fashioned to take its place. Because of my traitors and enemies, I will be stronger than before.
Recently a couple of people have made me realize the true extent of their betrayal of my good nature toward them. It's all right because I gave to them what I gave without asking anything in return. They showed me, though, the depths a foolish human can dig in order to destroy another person, and the expertise with which certain people can craft their masks. Though they have caused the death of a part of me, another part is being fashioned to take its place. Because of my traitors and enemies, I will be stronger than before.
Last lie:
The same lies I tell every day. I'm okay, I'm all right, I don't mind, I'm okay with that. That sort of thing. I've found that no one really gives a shit whether I'm "okay with this" or whatever. So I don't even bother. Chances are if you have to ask a question like that, it's only because you've already done something you know is wrong or that has wronged me (or whomever) and you just feel guilty and want me to make the guilt stop. No problem, I can do that. Just know that in my mind, I'm flipping you off. End rant.
The same lies I tell every day. I'm okay, I'm all right, I don't mind, I'm okay with that. That sort of thing. I've found that no one really gives a shit whether I'm "okay with this" or whatever. So I don't even bother. Chances are if you have to ask a question like that, it's only because you've already done something you know is wrong or that has wronged me (or whomever) and you just feel guilty and want me to make the guilt stop. No problem, I can do that. Just know that in my mind, I'm flipping you off. End rant.
Last fight:
I haven't had a fist-fight for years. I established a reputation in my old town fairly early. I didn't ever lose a fight in which I fought back, honestly. In my other towns I either let it be known that I was a pacifist and would refuse to fight, or was simply not shooting off my mouth enough to cause trouble. The last verbal fight, who knows. I don't even know what constitutes a real verbal fight anymore. People are always acting pissed at me no matter what I do, and all my family does is yell at each other, so I'm not really sure what's fighting and what's just copping an attitude or whatever anymore. I've only used profanity with my mom a couple times, though, the last time being a couple years ago just before I was institutionalized and she was telling me how ashamed of me she was. I dropped a loud "What the fuck do you..." something something something in that one. That's all I can really think of.
I haven't had a fist-fight for years. I established a reputation in my old town fairly early. I didn't ever lose a fight in which I fought back, honestly. In my other towns I either let it be known that I was a pacifist and would refuse to fight, or was simply not shooting off my mouth enough to cause trouble. The last verbal fight, who knows. I don't even know what constitutes a real verbal fight anymore. People are always acting pissed at me no matter what I do, and all my family does is yell at each other, so I'm not really sure what's fighting and what's just copping an attitude or whatever anymore. I've only used profanity with my mom a couple times, though, the last time being a couple years ago just before I was institutionalized and she was telling me how ashamed of me she was. I dropped a loud "What the fuck do you..." something something something in that one. That's all I can really think of.
Last religious exploration:
Presently I'm reassessing my beliefs. Again. I hate to admit that I'm considering the possibility of a deity or deities, however I have decided that if there is a God in the standard sense, that He is incredibly super-insane. I think I'm going to take up some of my old Jewish practices but keep my Taoist beliefs. Not so much for the religious aspect of it, but I feel like I was a stronger, better person back then, and with my present knowledge could serve myself and others better this way.
Presently I'm reassessing my beliefs. Again. I hate to admit that I'm considering the possibility of a deity or deities, however I have decided that if there is a God in the standard sense, that He is incredibly super-insane. I think I'm going to take up some of my old Jewish practices but keep my Taoist beliefs. Not so much for the religious aspect of it, but I feel like I was a stronger, better person back then, and with my present knowledge could serve myself and others better this way.
Last invention:
Sadly, I must confess that my last invention was a tobacco water pipe (...) constructed out of a tea jug, highlighter, and apple. It might not be able to make me any money like the fuel injection system, but it made for a couple memorable nights.
Sadly, I must confess that my last invention was a tobacco water pipe (...) constructed out of a tea jug, highlighter, and apple. It might not be able to make me any money like the fuel injection system, but it made for a couple memorable nights.
Last political experience:
Every time I wear my Che Guevara t-shirt, someone asks me who it is, claiming they've seen him but can't remember his name or incidentally anything about him. Or when I wear my CCCP hat, someone will ask me what it stands for. Or when I draw a hammer and sickle, they'll say something intelligent, like, "Hey, wasn't that a Nazi sign?" Verdict: I hate people almost as much as American education.
Every time I wear my Che Guevara t-shirt, someone asks me who it is, claiming they've seen him but can't remember his name or incidentally anything about him. Or when I wear my CCCP hat, someone will ask me what it stands for. Or when I draw a hammer and sickle, they'll say something intelligent, like, "Hey, wasn't that a Nazi sign?" Verdict: I hate people almost as much as American education.
Last public makeout:
The bottom floor lounge of my dorm as you enter the building. I readily admit that I had no romantic interest in her whatsoever, neither of us were intoxicated, and I ditched her soon after. I'm sure this makes me the bad guy, but I have yet to have a female prove to me that if I had stayed around, anything better would have happened. Right? Come on, I stay around, she cheats on me, lies to me, does something of that sort. Gets my hopes up, strings me along. And why do I stay in it? A sense of fulfillment or something? That's just destroyed when she turns out to be a bitch. Might as well get some physical pleasure and then go. Forget the complicated crap. And forget you bastards who think you're so high and mighty that you can say I'm wrong. Chances are you've been the type of person I'm referring to if you're a female. Sexism is good.
The bottom floor lounge of my dorm as you enter the building. I readily admit that I had no romantic interest in her whatsoever, neither of us were intoxicated, and I ditched her soon after. I'm sure this makes me the bad guy, but I have yet to have a female prove to me that if I had stayed around, anything better would have happened. Right? Come on, I stay around, she cheats on me, lies to me, does something of that sort. Gets my hopes up, strings me along. And why do I stay in it? A sense of fulfillment or something? That's just destroyed when she turns out to be a bitch. Might as well get some physical pleasure and then go. Forget the complicated crap. And forget you bastards who think you're so high and mighty that you can say I'm wrong. Chances are you've been the type of person I'm referring to if you're a female. Sexism is good.
Last encounter with alcohol:
A couple weeks ago I had a few shots at a friend's apartment. Actually, it's two friends' apartment, but one was gone, and the other guy who came there with us was passed out on one of the beds. After my last concious friend fell asleep I just kind of snuck out. That night blew despite party-hopping to three different places.
A couple weeks ago I had a few shots at a friend's apartment. Actually, it's two friends' apartment, but one was gone, and the other guy who came there with us was passed out on one of the beds. After my last concious friend fell asleep I just kind of snuck out. That night blew despite party-hopping to three different places.
Last time hitting a girl:
Ask me again the next time I see someone either I or one of my brothers has gone out with.
Ask me again the next time I see someone either I or one of my brothers has gone out with.
Last popular kids party:
The one in my room the first night here this year. Booyah.
The one in my room the first night here this year. Booyah.
Last beer:
Several months ago at a bar with a few friends. It was a Warsteiner.
Several months ago at a bar with a few friends. It was a Warsteiner.
Last tobacco:
The self-rolled cigarette I smoked before starting this entry two hours ago. It pretty much kicked my ass. I'll probably go smoke a cigar after I get done, just to spite the world. I spite soooo much better when I'm smoking. It makes me feel good to get into an elevator with people who don't smoke and make them smell it. Fuck them all. Oh, that, and I can't have any tobacco around when my family comes to visit today. So I'm smoking to spite them too. I'm such, like, you know, like, totally a rebel. Like, wow.
The self-rolled cigarette I smoked before starting this entry two hours ago. It pretty much kicked my ass. I'll probably go smoke a cigar after I get done, just to spite the world. I spite soooo much better when I'm smoking. It makes me feel good to get into an elevator with people who don't smoke and make them smell it. Fuck them all. Oh, that, and I can't have any tobacco around when my family comes to visit today. So I'm smoking to spite them too. I'm such, like, you know, like, totally a rebel. Like, wow.
Last green:
Probably about four months ago. I had a bad experience combining it with some non-Rx. After a near death experience with green, non-Rx, and a bout of epilepsy, I decided that it (not the epilepsy, the other stuff) was just making me stupid and holding back my grades, so I quit cold turkey. This is probably a respectable thing to do, however I don't care about respect. I care about getting a 3.56 GPA so I can be admitted to the college of education and get my teaching certificate.
Probably about four months ago. I had a bad experience combining it with some non-Rx. After a near death experience with green, non-Rx, and a bout of epilepsy, I decided that it (not the epilepsy, the other stuff) was just making me stupid and holding back my grades, so I quit cold turkey. This is probably a respectable thing to do, however I don't care about respect. I care about getting a 3.56 GPA so I can be admitted to the college of education and get my teaching certificate.
Last hangover:
I really only ever had that one, unless you count those times when you sleep so long that you wake up tired. Isn't that weird? What causes that, anyway?
I really only ever had that one, unless you count those times when you sleep so long that you wake up tired. Isn't that weird? What causes that, anyway?
Last sexual encounter:
I must stress this was only out of hatred for humans, but really, no strangers will believe that because who starts making love out of hate? I'm sure everyone who knows me will see how this would seem perfectly logical to me, though. Anyway, I still haven't "done it," because I realized that humans aren't worth it. And because I'd have had to walk up two flights of stairs to get protection. We just did as much as possible without needing it, instead. For those of you who haven't tried it, I'd suggest trying to hate the living hell out of whoever you're with. If you like things aggressive, it'll sure liven things up.
I must stress this was only out of hatred for humans, but really, no strangers will believe that because who starts making love out of hate? I'm sure everyone who knows me will see how this would seem perfectly logical to me, though. Anyway, I still haven't "done it," because I realized that humans aren't worth it. And because I'd have had to walk up two flights of stairs to get protection. We just did as much as possible without needing it, instead. For those of you who haven't tried it, I'd suggest trying to hate the living hell out of whoever you're with. If you like things aggressive, it'll sure liven things up.
Last broken bone:
I just had the one, lucky me. I managed to fall off a rickety porch my sister's dad made once and get my arm in a sling, but other than that just the finger.
I just had the one, lucky me. I managed to fall off a rickety porch my sister's dad made once and get my arm in a sling, but other than that just the finger.
Last encounter with non-Rx:
The same time as the last encounter with green, at which time I decided to stop cold turkey.
The same time as the last encounter with green, at which time I decided to stop cold turkey.
Last gang encounter:
I wrote about this when it happened a few years ago. I was just standing on a corner after school with a friend waiting for someone who was supposed to meet us, and this huge black dude in a red bandana comes up and tells us we need to get out of the area. I pulled out a KGB ID that I happened to have on me that day (best not to ask questions) and just blankly said "I'm an agent." He said, "You can stay, then," then to my friend, "but you need to get out of here." Needless to say we both stayed there to see if there would be any cool gang violence, but there wasn't.
I wrote about this when it happened a few years ago. I was just standing on a corner after school with a friend waiting for someone who was supposed to meet us, and this huge black dude in a red bandana comes up and tells us we need to get out of the area. I pulled out a KGB ID that I happened to have on me that day (best not to ask questions) and just blankly said "I'm an agent." He said, "You can stay, then," then to my friend, "but you need to get out of here." Needless to say we both stayed there to see if there would be any cool gang violence, but there wasn't.
Last sign of epilepsy:
Last week I had a "spell," as old people would call it, at the orthodontist's office. I got really dizzy, informed them that I had forgotten my medication that morning and needed to lie down. I pulled out my phone to call a friend to bring my medication, then dropped it and fell into the wall. They plopped me down in a chair and asked me if I wanted water. I told them yes, then forgot I asked them for it and looked at it a few minutes later wondering whose it was and if I could drink it anyway.
Last week I had a "spell," as old people would call it, at the orthodontist's office. I got really dizzy, informed them that I had forgotten my medication that morning and needed to lie down. I pulled out my phone to call a friend to bring my medication, then dropped it and fell into the wall. They plopped me down in a chair and asked me if I wanted water. I told them yes, then forgot I asked them for it and looked at it a few minutes later wondering whose it was and if I could drink it anyway.
Last computer:
My present tower, which I constructed myself and which came complete with a DOA (dead on arrival) motherboard, so it doesn't work yet. It's red with black drives and stuff, and on the front is a cobra whose eyes light up when you turn it on. It's nifty.
My present tower, which I constructed myself and which came complete with a DOA (dead on arrival) motherboard, so it doesn't work yet. It's red with black drives and stuff, and on the front is a cobra whose eyes light up when you turn it on. It's nifty.
Last sworn brother:
I've lost track of order. Though most of the K-team and I haven't really pledged to do anything or uphold anything, I still consider them brothers, even the ones who I'm not entirely sure what they think of me. Vince and Jeff were around since the start of things, though closer and more distant at random times, so I guess that would make good ol' Hank the latest addition to the brotherhood. He knows my hair is sexier than his, but I let him think his is better.
I've lost track of order. Though most of the K-team and I haven't really pledged to do anything or uphold anything, I still consider them brothers, even the ones who I'm not entirely sure what they think of me. Vince and Jeff were around since the start of things, though closer and more distant at random times, so I guess that would make good ol' Hank the latest addition to the brotherhood. He knows my hair is sexier than his, but I let him think his is better.
posted by red at 22:45
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