I'm Bad for Your Kids

Red: what's up

Guy: procrastinating on an essay due day after tomorrow
Guy: which is tomorrow now

Red: what over?

Guy: Walden

Red: transcendentalist. hippy. a bit gay.

Guy: yes.
Guy: i agree wholeheartedly

Red: Walden, summarized: "I'm going out of society. But sometimes I'll walk to town because living alone sucks. But look at me, I'm out of society, totally separate. Maybe I'll walk to town today and talk to people again."
Red: "I made this house all by myself, even though really I bought it."

Guy: lol

Red: if I could go back in time, I'd forehead spank him for being a moron.
Red: then steal his book and publish it under my name :P

Guy: i would just stab him in his stupid face

Red: might as well make a profit from stealing the book, though
Red: although then someone might come back in time and stab YOU in the face

Guy: oh that would suck

Red: better settle for robbing him on occasion

Guy: yes
Guy: can we be accomplices in this mission?

Red: of course...we'll put the money in a bank, since the old style money will be useless, and let it earn interest and buy bonds for like 100 years. We can also save some of the old coins and bills to auction off. Plus we can steal things he's handwritten, which would be worth a fortune, especially signatures. Might as well take whatever nice jewelry and stuff we can find.
Red: plenty for the both of us
Red: we'll be rich by the great depression, in which we can take back random food with us and sell at astronomical prices

Guy: Red, you're the most brilliant person I've talked to in the past five minutes.

Red: Why thank you, sir.

Guy: No problem.

Red: Crime and Punishment...it's not a book, it's a lifestyle.