Like Nothing, Really
Why do people do online quizzes? They're irreputable and a total waste of time. Half the time they're not even entertaining outside of killing a few minutes and seeing how totally wrong they are. But I guess that's why I myself occasionally do them; to kill a few minutes and see how wrong they are. I'm the type of person who loves when horror-scopes are wrong, just because they're supposed to be all-encompasing. Anyway, since I'm supposed to be doing programming homework, I thought I'd take the retarded quizzes instead.
My "Seduction Style" is in real life non-existant. I just exist, and if something happens, that's great. I haven't asked anyone out in something like three years. I think the last person that anything started to happen with, we were just lying in her bed and she turns to me and asks if we're exclusive, which, at that point it seemed to me a stupid thing to ask. I dumped her ass anyway, because yes, she did end up being that stupid.
According to the online quiz (which knows all about me from six questions wherein answers I'd give aren't even provided as options) claims the following:
" You are a pro at playing the age old game of hard to get.
Your flirting style runs hot and cold, giving just enough to keep them chasing you.
Independent and self-sufficient, you don't need any one person to make you complete.
And that independence is exactly what makes people pursue you."
The truest part of that is that if someone actually is "chasing" me, it's normally because I don't have the heart to say, "You're retarded and I hate you. Stop talking to me and leave me alone." Instead I'm just polite and leave as quickly as possible. Why would I play hard to get though? It's hard enough for me to find a date, I'm sure as hell not going to fuck it up playing mindgames. Independent I guess...I don't like asking for anything from anyone, even if it is a significant other. I'm the kind of guy who, until I've known you for a year, probably won't even accept a dinner invite from your parents.
My name stands for "Revolutionary, Entertaining," and "Delicious." Pfft. Revolutionary, sure, I could give them that. Maybe not now, but when I had the time to be revolutionary I gave it my damndest. Entertaining...I'd assume that's why people still read this garbage. I'm not talking about anything pertinent to me at all, so they can't say they're reading this because they care about what's going on with me or what I have to say: it's not about what's going on with me and I'm not saying anything. They're reading it to kill time (i.e. be entertained). Delicious. Hm. I know I like the taste of my blood, but other than that I couldn't tell you.
Or won't. Think about THAT.
To see how much of my brain was male or female, I took another test. I tend to think that my brain is male, regardless of my asexuality. What the quiz had to say was this:
"Your brain is 53.33% Female, 46.67% Male. Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female. You are both sensitive and savvy. Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed, but you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve."
I guess that's pretty close to asexual. I'm not very sensitive anymore, nor am I savvy. I'm neither rational or reasonable unless I'm consciously trying to be, and I'm not level headed (I'm just apathetic). I don't wear my heart on my sleeve because I'm psychologically incapable of having certain emotions. The test was total stereotypes, and to prove it I went and answered all "male" answers. After doing this, it described me as a "manly man capable of breaking both legs and not shedding a tear." That's probably something I could do in real life, but simply because I don't waste tears on things that don't deserve them. I broke a finger when I was a little kid and used it for almost three weeks before I went to the doctor. The only reason I even went to the doctor is because my piano instructor kept trying to make me use it. They splinted it for two weeks, only it was in the wrong spot, so I was essentially using it for about five weeks without really complaining.
I just don't see the point of certain human behaviours. Crying over physical pain, caring about most of the things people tend to care about, embarrassment. None of it really makes sense to me, but this is supposed to be about retarded quizzes, not my time at a shrink discovering my brain is fucked up and I'm useless as a human (but great as a robot!).
"I feel like nothing, really," is one of the lines my Korean roommate wrote when he was trying his hand at writing poetry in English. I can relate. Man, can I relate.
My "Seduction Style" is in real life non-existant. I just exist, and if something happens, that's great. I haven't asked anyone out in something like three years. I think the last person that anything started to happen with, we were just lying in her bed and she turns to me and asks if we're exclusive, which, at that point it seemed to me a stupid thing to ask. I dumped her ass anyway, because yes, she did end up being that stupid.
According to the online quiz (which knows all about me from six questions wherein answers I'd give aren't even provided as options) claims the following:
" You are a pro at playing the age old game of hard to get.
Your flirting style runs hot and cold, giving just enough to keep them chasing you.
Independent and self-sufficient, you don't need any one person to make you complete.
And that independence is exactly what makes people pursue you."
The truest part of that is that if someone actually is "chasing" me, it's normally because I don't have the heart to say, "You're retarded and I hate you. Stop talking to me and leave me alone." Instead I'm just polite and leave as quickly as possible. Why would I play hard to get though? It's hard enough for me to find a date, I'm sure as hell not going to fuck it up playing mindgames. Independent I guess...I don't like asking for anything from anyone, even if it is a significant other. I'm the kind of guy who, until I've known you for a year, probably won't even accept a dinner invite from your parents.
My name stands for "Revolutionary, Entertaining," and "Delicious." Pfft. Revolutionary, sure, I could give them that. Maybe not now, but when I had the time to be revolutionary I gave it my damndest. Entertaining...I'd assume that's why people still read this garbage. I'm not talking about anything pertinent to me at all, so they can't say they're reading this because they care about what's going on with me or what I have to say: it's not about what's going on with me and I'm not saying anything. They're reading it to kill time (i.e. be entertained). Delicious. Hm. I know I like the taste of my blood, but other than that I couldn't tell you.
Or won't. Think about THAT.
To see how much of my brain was male or female, I took another test. I tend to think that my brain is male, regardless of my asexuality. What the quiz had to say was this:
"Your brain is 53.33% Female, 46.67% Male. Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female. You are both sensitive and savvy. Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed, but you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve."
I guess that's pretty close to asexual. I'm not very sensitive anymore, nor am I savvy. I'm neither rational or reasonable unless I'm consciously trying to be, and I'm not level headed (I'm just apathetic). I don't wear my heart on my sleeve because I'm psychologically incapable of having certain emotions. The test was total stereotypes, and to prove it I went and answered all "male" answers. After doing this, it described me as a "manly man capable of breaking both legs and not shedding a tear." That's probably something I could do in real life, but simply because I don't waste tears on things that don't deserve them. I broke a finger when I was a little kid and used it for almost three weeks before I went to the doctor. The only reason I even went to the doctor is because my piano instructor kept trying to make me use it. They splinted it for two weeks, only it was in the wrong spot, so I was essentially using it for about five weeks without really complaining.
I just don't see the point of certain human behaviours. Crying over physical pain, caring about most of the things people tend to care about, embarrassment. None of it really makes sense to me, but this is supposed to be about retarded quizzes, not my time at a shrink discovering my brain is fucked up and I'm useless as a human (but great as a robot!).
"I feel like nothing, really," is one of the lines my Korean roommate wrote when he was trying his hand at writing poetry in English. I can relate. Man, can I relate.
posted by red at 14:41
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