English Class is Gay

I found my notebook from my freshman English class. It had only three pages of notes, containing the following text:

The people in my dorm are gay.
Campus Christians are gay.
"Flip-flops" are gay.
Porta-potties are gay.
Emo isn't a real genre because it's gay.
People who call hooded sweatshirts "hoodies" are gay.
People who think they're cool because they draw anime are gay.
Inflatable furniture is gay.
Saying that you can't call stuff gay because gay people don't like it is gay.
People who call it "Christmas Break" are gay.
Feminists are definitely gay.
People who say "Communism only works on paper" are gay.
If you're in a sorority or fraternity, you're a loser. And gay.
If you claim there's "one true religion" you're gay.
Gateway owners are the stupidest, gayest ever.
Adam Sandler is gay.
Robin Williams is gay.
Adriana Lima is completely not gay.
Skateboarding is gay.
Vegetarians are almost as gay as "vegans."
People who intentionally learn French are gay.
People who buy new sound systems for their automobiles are gay.
General education classes are gay.
Gay people are gay.
Political correctness is gay.
Toe-seamed socks are gay.
If you're afraid of clowns, you're gay.
Top bunk is gay.
The guy down the hall is gay...no wait...everyone down the hall is gay.
Console games have become gay.
My ex is gay.
Jerky is the opposite of gay.
Affirmative action is gay.
The UN is gay.
Earth without war would be gay...er.
Windpants are gay.
Putting hotsauce on everything makes you ungay.
Quebec is gay. Along with the rest of eastern Canada.
British literature is gay.
Black history month is gay.
Star Trek is gay.
Black "fashion" is also gay.
Being white is gay, too.
The "music industry" is gay.
"Quotes" are gay.
The names Benjamin, Patrick, Preston, Kyle, and Lance are gay.
People who assume you're their religion are gay. No wait, they're Christians. No, wait...I was right the first time.
Mall shoppers are gay.
People who hand out stuff in public are almost as gay as the people who take it.
Ravers are so gay.
Dreamweaver users are gay.
Flossers are gay.
Recycling is gay.
Coloured contacts are gay.
Kids who buy "rims" are gay.
Anal sex between two guys is gay.
Backward hats are gay.
Self-esteem is fake and gay.
Disney-whores are gay.
Rap is gay.
Clothes that don't fit are gay.
Masochism is gay.
Yoga isn't gay?
Being fat is gay.
Bumper stickers are gay.
Drive-thru work is gay.
Bloggers are gay.
Cell phones that go off in class have gay owners.
Business majors are majorly gay.
Valentine's Day is the gayest.
If I ruled, things wouldn't be gay.
Kids in theatres are gay.
Animal rights are gay.
Dancing is übergay.
"Hopeless romantics" are gay to the max.
People who don't hit girls are gay.
Elton John is straight.