Vin's Disappearance
*Years from now, at a small frozen fortress in the wilds of northern British Saskatchalbertatoba*
Red: This is a presence I've not felt since...
*Vin bursts through the wall*
Vin: OHHHHH YEAAAHHHH
Red: Vincent, your time is nigh.
Vin: My time is what?
Red: Nigh.
Vin: What the fuck?
Red: It means now.
Vin: I know what it means, but who the heck says "nigh."
Red: People always say that when it's the end of something, like the apocalypse bums with the cardboard signs.
Vin: Fair enough, but you're as wrong as Gayos in a green suit.
*Vin breaks out a photograph of Chaos in his Evil-eye Fleagle green suit. Red falls to his knees, clawing at his eyes*
Red: You cruel bastard!
Vin: While watching the new Batman movie, I realized that armies aren't really necessary. By utilizing psychological stimuli, I found I was able to-
Red: Blow yourself. No one wants the "evil explanation."
Vin: But it's absolutely necessary to ensure that a movie is made.
Red, mocking: But it's absolutely necessary to stu-fu noob.
Vin: Stu-fu? Like Stuart that you and Jeff-
Red: SHHHHHHHHH SHH SHH SHH!!!
Vin: You're odd.
Red: I'll pronounce it how I want. Continue.
Vin: But you said-
Red: I want movie rights.
Vin: Okay. Anyway, in keeping with my Canadianese ancestry, I will use the mere threat of unleashing the REAL Chaos-plus-suit on the people. Unless...
Red: Blackjack and hookers?
Vin: Nein! Blackjack, hookers, and a giant fucking wall to repel the American Mongolians!
Red: But America isn't even attacking, and if they did they'd just fly over th-
*Vince pokes Red in the arm with a pointy stick*
Red: Son'bitch!
Vin: You're either with me or against me, and I vote "against" because it's no fun without a nemesis.
Red: Vote? What the hell kind of evil dictator votes on anything?
Vin: My Gord, you're right. Fine, you're against me. You can be blue team.
Red: I want red team.
Vin: Why?
Red: ....
Vin: Oh. Fine, but this really hurts my plans to make a duplicate People's Liberation Army.
Red: Look, it doesn't matter. You came here in a Humvee right? That bright pink one over there?
Vin: It's light red! Red team!
Red: Well, don't look directly at him of course, but open our green-suited bioweapon's cage and order him to lower the tailgate.
Vin: Release the weapon! Gayos, lower the hatch!........NO, fucking hell put your pants on! My eyes! The humvee's hatch you sick bastage!
*Gayos looks thoughtfully at the tailgate of the humvee, pokes at one of the latches, and falls to the ground as the tailgate smacks him in the head, rendering him unconcious*
Vin: Well...shit. I thought he said he plays America's Army a lot.
Red: Do your research, Vin-bin. AA doesn't have vehicles.
Vin: And that year in Iraq?
Red: Now you know what really went down..."over there."
Vin: You suck. Your ideas suck. How can I make my waterpark now?
Red: OUR waterpark, YOUR marijuana plant decorations.
Vin: Do you think anyone remembers which continent is getting the axe?
Red: If they do, they won't care anyway. It's not like people there have the internet or anything. There are probably more broadband connections in Antarctica. And that's not counting our bases.
Vin: Is it really a challenge, then?
Red: Would we be unlazy enough to do it if it were?
Vin: Good point.
Red: ..........Let's make sweet love.
Vin: ......
Red: ......
Vin: Okay.
Red: Fag.
Vin: But you-
Red: FAAAAG. Let's go remove a land mass or seven.
*Vince and Red get into the 'light red' humvee and speed off into the ocean. Having forgotten that the humvee was in fact not the Mach 5, the dictators to be float to shore to plan another course of action...*
Red: This is a presence I've not felt since...
*Vin bursts through the wall*
Vin: OHHHHH YEAAAHHHH
Red: Vincent, your time is nigh.
Vin: My time is what?
Red: Nigh.
Vin: What the fuck?
Red: It means now.
Vin: I know what it means, but who the heck says "nigh."
Red: People always say that when it's the end of something, like the apocalypse bums with the cardboard signs.
Vin: Fair enough, but you're as wrong as Gayos in a green suit.
*Vin breaks out a photograph of Chaos in his Evil-eye Fleagle green suit. Red falls to his knees, clawing at his eyes*
Red: You cruel bastard!
Vin: While watching the new Batman movie, I realized that armies aren't really necessary. By utilizing psychological stimuli, I found I was able to-
Red: Blow yourself. No one wants the "evil explanation."
Vin: But it's absolutely necessary to ensure that a movie is made.
Red, mocking: But it's absolutely necessary to stu-fu noob.
Vin: Stu-fu? Like Stuart that you and Jeff-
Red: SHHHHHHHHH SHH SHH SHH!!!
Vin: You're odd.
Red: I'll pronounce it how I want. Continue.
Vin: But you said-
Red: I want movie rights.
Vin: Okay. Anyway, in keeping with my Canadianese ancestry, I will use the mere threat of unleashing the REAL Chaos-plus-suit on the people. Unless...
Red: Blackjack and hookers?
Vin: Nein! Blackjack, hookers, and a giant fucking wall to repel the American Mongolians!
Red: But America isn't even attacking, and if they did they'd just fly over th-
*Vince pokes Red in the arm with a pointy stick*
Red: Son'bitch!
Vin: You're either with me or against me, and I vote "against" because it's no fun without a nemesis.
Red: Vote? What the hell kind of evil dictator votes on anything?
Vin: My Gord, you're right. Fine, you're against me. You can be blue team.
Red: I want red team.
Vin: Why?
Red: ....
Vin: Oh. Fine, but this really hurts my plans to make a duplicate People's Liberation Army.
Red: Look, it doesn't matter. You came here in a Humvee right? That bright pink one over there?
Vin: It's light red! Red team!
Red: Well, don't look directly at him of course, but open our green-suited bioweapon's cage and order him to lower the tailgate.
Vin: Release the weapon! Gayos, lower the hatch!........NO, fucking hell put your pants on! My eyes! The humvee's hatch you sick bastage!
*Gayos looks thoughtfully at the tailgate of the humvee, pokes at one of the latches, and falls to the ground as the tailgate smacks him in the head, rendering him unconcious*
Vin: Well...shit. I thought he said he plays America's Army a lot.
Red: Do your research, Vin-bin. AA doesn't have vehicles.
Vin: And that year in Iraq?
Red: Now you know what really went down..."over there."
Vin: You suck. Your ideas suck. How can I make my waterpark now?
Red: OUR waterpark, YOUR marijuana plant decorations.
Vin: Do you think anyone remembers which continent is getting the axe?
Red: If they do, they won't care anyway. It's not like people there have the internet or anything. There are probably more broadband connections in Antarctica. And that's not counting our bases.
Vin: Is it really a challenge, then?
Red: Would we be unlazy enough to do it if it were?
Vin: Good point.
Red: ..........Let's make sweet love.
Vin: ......
Red: ......
Vin: Okay.
Red: Fag.
Vin: But you-
Red: FAAAAG. Let's go remove a land mass or seven.
*Vince and Red get into the 'light red' humvee and speed off into the ocean. Having forgotten that the humvee was in fact not the Mach 5, the dictators to be float to shore to plan another course of action...*
posted by red at 10:45
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