I'm Run Down

I know I haven't posted in a long time, and I don't really have the time to even now, so here's the rundown:

My grandfather has cancer but is too weak to continue chemo. He shits his bed on a weekly if not daily basis and can't stay awake more than a few hours at a time. He barely eats and is very skeletal. My grandmother is running herself into the ground over it, and understandably so: they've been together since their teens.

My mother is about to have another surgery and wants me to sub her classes for her. Old hat, next verse the same as the first.

My sister got knocked up a couple months ago, but no one knows outside of my nuclear family. It's going to be a girl. Shhhh. I'll be going to see her for a few weeks for moral support. Speaking of moral, she said she didn't want to have an abortion because it was against her morals. Well, if you had any morals to start with, you wouldn't be unmarried and pregnant with a guy who left you the second he found out, would you?

I'm malnourished and starving myself to death. I just forget to eat for a day or a few days, and when I do, I'm not hungry. I have another doctor's appointment soon in which he'll just tell me it's because I'm depressive and make me take happy pills that don't do anything for me.

I'm still not in school and am not going to have the funds to be any time soon. I'm also thinking that when I finally do get the job I want, it'll probably turn out it sucks anyway and I'd probably be better just never waking up after all.

I'm sick of all the bullshit.