Babble
Sometimes when life is incredibly uneventful it can be difficult to really find something to write about.
On the other hand, though, sometimes when life is busy and full of changes, it can be hard to even choose a place or means to start, and all that comes out is prattle.
Real estate in my new town is nothing. The town is so small and decrepit that the land owners can scarcely justify charging anything at all. My last apartment was a condo-sized area that ran about 550 US a month, included no utilities, required a garbage fee, and internet ran roughly 40 US. With a roommate, this ran me from 320-400 US a month depending on how hot/cold it was and whether someone did something White like leaving a window or door open with heat on, a stove burner running, etc.
My new apartment is easily twice the size of my last if not more, runs 350 US a month, and the only utility I have to pay is electric. Both internet and a phone service are just around 30 US.
Although the cost of living here is considerably less, not having a roommate will end up making it cost me more nevertheless.
By my calculations, I need to earn at minimum about 2000 US by August, with the ideal being more like 5000. At a crap-pay job as it's safe to assume any of them will be in a town this size, that's roughly 30 hours a week. That's not too bad assuming I can find a job willing to give me those kinds of hours. I really dislike the idea of having to do two jobs to make it come out because your hours are always lame. Hopefully I won't have to go that route.
It wouldn't be so bad if I could work during school, but once it starts, I'll be in school from 8am until 5pm every day with homework and studying on the side. I could work weekends and might have to, but if it's at all possible not to I won't be. Not having a single day off week after week runs me down pretty fast no matter how easy the work might be. If it's hard work to boot, I'll be out of commission pretty fast.
I had around 3000-3300 US in my bank account coming here, along with bonds and CDs that I never touch, but it doesn't last forever. Probably the only reason I even had that much was from saving for the better part of the last decade to take an extended holiday in Canada. Calculating up rent, necessities (gas, food, etc), frills like the net and (/mumble) the Bacardi 151 in the freezer, in order to pay for everything just until January without being able to work from August til December, I really need to hoof it.
My minimum number is based on using pretty much every last cent I have in the bank along with cashing a 700-750 US CD that matures in September. I've pretty much sworn off fun until I find a job and decided to kick my own ass and have one by the end of the first week in April. If I were smart I'd call up Schatze and beg for an endorsement but my pride is too much of an asshole to let me ask for favours from anyone about something like that.
It's just such a pisser. Basically all the town has is gas stations and fast food. Which means day one is going to involve me stopping by every gas station in town, and day two is going to involve me trying to re-find every gas station in town to turn in the applications. I'd like to work in someplace that sells (grocery) food simply for a discount on it, but I'm not going to be picky about who writes my cheques at this point.
On the upside, only people who've never had a real job that they had to get themselves have given me shit over not having worked for the better part of a year now. I've pretty much been doing some kind of work or another for as long as I can remember...whether it was helping with construction or working in my droid's sign shop before I could legally work (which is much more physical than simply slapping paint on something, I can promise)...or serving ungrateful assholes disgusting gruel, or being everyone's bitch at the newspaper. I've never, until now, had a break from working and have always worked to get for myself whatever I wanted whenever possible. So to those who haven't given me shit, looked down on me, or tried the holier-than-thou act over me taking time off: thank you for not being fucking cunts and contributing to the guilt-tripping that everyone else has been doing.
Employment is kind of a catch-22. In the university town, there are tons of businesses and options, but it's hard as shit to get a halfway decent job (or even a shitty one) without contacts. Why pay a university kid or someone with a degree who will automatically make more money, when you can underpay some high school kid to do the exact same job? On the other hand, here where it's nothing like a city at all, there's basically no choice whatsoever.
What's worse is that you pretty much work at a corporation or you don't work at all. This basically ensures that, in order to live, you have no option but to not only be employed by capitalist weapons, but utilize them as well. So my apologies, yet again, to Schatze, whom I see truly had no choices. I am indeed an asshole, even if I'm an asshole out of naivete or oversight.
The apartment I'm in is part of a converted house that was made into four different apartments. Presently I'm upstairs and the only inhabitant of the place. I'm told some girl who's native to the town is supposed to be moving across the hallway from me the first of next month, but beyond that no one's going to be downstairs.
The senior-citizen real-estate agent who showed me the property asided that I'd get along with my semi-suite-mate just fine because "she's really cute." What this truly means is several things: first, the girl probably has no personality. She was "really cute" rather than "really nice." She's also cute in the eyes of a senior, which basically means that she's probably fat with bad teeth and self-centered. It really doesn't matter either way, I just want to put it in writing so that when she does get here, I can be all, "HA SEE I CALLED IT." And if I'm wrong, then...good.
I started to say that, "I didn't realize how much I relied on the internet for entertainment," but that's a bloody lie. I know damn well that it's about 85-95% of my entertainment more often than not, and not having it blows. I had some "special edition" movies (*cough*) that I hadn't seen yet, but they were pretty much all inoperable. After watching a couple that I had forgotten, I moved on to my...regular...edition...movies only to find out that I've managed to lose the power cord (which of course couldn't have a universal attachment) to the player.
That pretty much leaves me with single player games on my computer that I've either played 500 times already, or are FPS that I get bored of relatively quickly (even if I'm an awesome ninja-medic). The alternative are some console games that I've also played through 500 times. I found a copy of Majora's Mask for 64 that Dunkel gave me and figured I'd give it a try since it was at least RPG. I did end up playing it for several hours, but a lot of that time was spent sitting on my ass waiting for the right time on the in-game clock to pop up to do whatever special thing. After about four hours I was still doing shit in the starting zone. It wouldn't have been that big of a deal because it's the type of game that takes a long time, but I'm not exactly new to it and had the player's guide (courtesy of Dunkel as well) so it was getting pretty redonkulous.
What I really should be doing (aside from getting myself onto a regular sleep schedule rather than blathering at 1am) is finishing the cleaning here.
I got the whole place looking great except for some strewn clothes and papers in my bedroom. And of course my desk, as always, is a disaster area. The entry room is basically empty. I hung up a couple pictures and threw a bookshelf in there, but other than the rug on the floor and some swords shoved into a corner, it's totally empty and will probably stay that way for the most part. I intend to get a futon and eventually some kind of card table for if/when anyone (again, Dunkel) stays overnight. It's got a walk-in closet that is already serving me well as a dump-site for spare boxes.
My kitchen is spotless, like I always keep my kitchen when it's not shared with Chaos. There's no dishwasher (/cry) but at least there's a disposal and the water heats up. I also got to use an electric can opener for the first time, and I think I came a little. Basically two walls are entirely cabinets. The apartment doesn't lack for storage -- there's no way I'll fill up this place. I'm using two drawers for utensils and a couple cubbies for food, but half of a wall is pretty much pantry, and it's not going to get any love out of a poor bachelor's food supply.
The bathroom is pretty normal other than a pull-out hamper, which I'm sure will be stuffed full of clothes that I'm putting off washing at any given point.
The bedroom is ginormous and connects to the bath. It has a great bookshelf built into the wall, with room enough on one wall for my desk and bed both. The drawback is that I tend to fill open floor space with things that shouldn't be there (although I'm sure everyone would love to see my undershorts). Generally I keep a tidy house, though, and other than the hurricane that's bound to reside on my desk, I imagine once I get it cleaned up it'll stay that way for the most part.
My last apartment had some...unique...views. From the bedrooms you can see either nothing but leaves, or a highway. From the front room, a sidewalk, and from the kitchen, a brick wall. My current apartment actually has a really good vantage. On one side is the of course overly expensive Catholic church, which is attractive and interesting to look at in its own way. On the other side I can see honest-to-Gord sunsets for the first time in three cities.
One thing that strikes me is that it's pretty much totally quiet here. I went from living by a forest (which is noisier than you'd think), to a little section of urbana, to living next to a highway, and now into a town that for the most part has no pulse. I've gone out to the front steps in the middle of the night a couple times just to be outside, and it's actually fairly well trafficked. But with the church on one side, the rest of this house empty, the one across the street empty, and being located next to nothing of particular importance, it's fairly impossible to hear anything going on night or day.
To counter it I'll put on some music, but I can't play music and do anything really interactive on the computer at the same time, so I've just been cleaning while I listen. Any other property you went to would have been scrubbed top to bottom before it was even shown...this place wasn't so much as sneezed at. Just giving it a once-over took up most of the first two days, and there are still some things I haven't touched (like the blinds and fan blades).
I don't think I'll really -like- it here, but I don't think I'll dislike it either. I do have a couple contacts in town, but honestly don't have any plans to look them up until after I'm into a good routine of work. If the person moving in across the hall isn't a total scrub I'll probably just have an open-door policy when I'm here and encourage her to walk in without notice whenever the hell she feels like it. Even if she's a stupid bitch it's at least interaction. I'm not exactly a socialite, but after a few months of no contact whatsoever I get more edgy than usual.
All of that aside, as far as my personal existence goes, I'm just sick of feeling goddamn useless all the time. It's not like working at some shithole like Taco Bell would give my life greater meaning or anything, but at least I'd be able to feel like I was contributing something, or if nothing else, I'd feel more active. I'm trying to control my intake of both caffeine and alcohol a lot more, not because I really give a shit, but because later on people are going to expect me to -act- like I give a shit.
Becoming a cop isn't exactly the first on my list of jobs. Not in America, anyway. In America, I'll never have the right kind of pride or pleasure from it, and it'll always feel exactly like what it will be: waking up every day and putting on a mask that's socially (i.e. societally) acceptable. The same as I've done in every school and job and howdy-do to whatever stranger my whole life. Once a mask broke when I wasn't ready for it and didn't know how to handle it, and it pretty much fucked up my life. Now that I'm ready to be free of them all, leave it to capital to bend me over and force me to be contained in the cell of the land of the free.
If there's an afterlife and I find out I died in the line of duty enforcing American laws, I will be pissed as fuck.
Bleh, I don't have anything but the prattle. I really need to be getting to sleep, which means I'm going to go and read instead.
On the other hand, though, sometimes when life is busy and full of changes, it can be hard to even choose a place or means to start, and all that comes out is prattle.
Real estate in my new town is nothing. The town is so small and decrepit that the land owners can scarcely justify charging anything at all. My last apartment was a condo-sized area that ran about 550 US a month, included no utilities, required a garbage fee, and internet ran roughly 40 US. With a roommate, this ran me from 320-400 US a month depending on how hot/cold it was and whether someone did something White like leaving a window or door open with heat on, a stove burner running, etc.
My new apartment is easily twice the size of my last if not more, runs 350 US a month, and the only utility I have to pay is electric. Both internet and a phone service are just around 30 US.
Although the cost of living here is considerably less, not having a roommate will end up making it cost me more nevertheless.
By my calculations, I need to earn at minimum about 2000 US by August, with the ideal being more like 5000. At a crap-pay job as it's safe to assume any of them will be in a town this size, that's roughly 30 hours a week. That's not too bad assuming I can find a job willing to give me those kinds of hours. I really dislike the idea of having to do two jobs to make it come out because your hours are always lame. Hopefully I won't have to go that route.
It wouldn't be so bad if I could work during school, but once it starts, I'll be in school from 8am until 5pm every day with homework and studying on the side. I could work weekends and might have to, but if it's at all possible not to I won't be. Not having a single day off week after week runs me down pretty fast no matter how easy the work might be. If it's hard work to boot, I'll be out of commission pretty fast.
I had around 3000-3300 US in my bank account coming here, along with bonds and CDs that I never touch, but it doesn't last forever. Probably the only reason I even had that much was from saving for the better part of the last decade to take an extended holiday in Canada. Calculating up rent, necessities (gas, food, etc), frills like the net and (/mumble) the Bacardi 151 in the freezer, in order to pay for everything just until January without being able to work from August til December, I really need to hoof it.
My minimum number is based on using pretty much every last cent I have in the bank along with cashing a 700-750 US CD that matures in September. I've pretty much sworn off fun until I find a job and decided to kick my own ass and have one by the end of the first week in April. If I were smart I'd call up Schatze and beg for an endorsement but my pride is too much of an asshole to let me ask for favours from anyone about something like that.
It's just such a pisser. Basically all the town has is gas stations and fast food. Which means day one is going to involve me stopping by every gas station in town, and day two is going to involve me trying to re-find every gas station in town to turn in the applications. I'd like to work in someplace that sells (grocery) food simply for a discount on it, but I'm not going to be picky about who writes my cheques at this point.
On the upside, only people who've never had a real job that they had to get themselves have given me shit over not having worked for the better part of a year now. I've pretty much been doing some kind of work or another for as long as I can remember...whether it was helping with construction or working in my droid's sign shop before I could legally work (which is much more physical than simply slapping paint on something, I can promise)...or serving ungrateful assholes disgusting gruel, or being everyone's bitch at the newspaper. I've never, until now, had a break from working and have always worked to get for myself whatever I wanted whenever possible. So to those who haven't given me shit, looked down on me, or tried the holier-than-thou act over me taking time off: thank you for not being fucking cunts and contributing to the guilt-tripping that everyone else has been doing.
Employment is kind of a catch-22. In the university town, there are tons of businesses and options, but it's hard as shit to get a halfway decent job (or even a shitty one) without contacts. Why pay a university kid or someone with a degree who will automatically make more money, when you can underpay some high school kid to do the exact same job? On the other hand, here where it's nothing like a city at all, there's basically no choice whatsoever.
What's worse is that you pretty much work at a corporation or you don't work at all. This basically ensures that, in order to live, you have no option but to not only be employed by capitalist weapons, but utilize them as well. So my apologies, yet again, to Schatze, whom I see truly had no choices. I am indeed an asshole, even if I'm an asshole out of naivete or oversight.
The apartment I'm in is part of a converted house that was made into four different apartments. Presently I'm upstairs and the only inhabitant of the place. I'm told some girl who's native to the town is supposed to be moving across the hallway from me the first of next month, but beyond that no one's going to be downstairs.
The senior-citizen real-estate agent who showed me the property asided that I'd get along with my semi-suite-mate just fine because "she's really cute." What this truly means is several things: first, the girl probably has no personality. She was "really cute" rather than "really nice." She's also cute in the eyes of a senior, which basically means that she's probably fat with bad teeth and self-centered. It really doesn't matter either way, I just want to put it in writing so that when she does get here, I can be all, "HA SEE I CALLED IT." And if I'm wrong, then...good.
I started to say that, "I didn't realize how much I relied on the internet for entertainment," but that's a bloody lie. I know damn well that it's about 85-95% of my entertainment more often than not, and not having it blows. I had some "special edition" movies (*cough*) that I hadn't seen yet, but they were pretty much all inoperable. After watching a couple that I had forgotten, I moved on to my...regular...edition...movies only to find out that I've managed to lose the power cord (which of course couldn't have a universal attachment) to the player.
That pretty much leaves me with single player games on my computer that I've either played 500 times already, or are FPS that I get bored of relatively quickly (even if I'm an awesome ninja-medic). The alternative are some console games that I've also played through 500 times. I found a copy of Majora's Mask for 64 that Dunkel gave me and figured I'd give it a try since it was at least RPG. I did end up playing it for several hours, but a lot of that time was spent sitting on my ass waiting for the right time on the in-game clock to pop up to do whatever special thing. After about four hours I was still doing shit in the starting zone. It wouldn't have been that big of a deal because it's the type of game that takes a long time, but I'm not exactly new to it and had the player's guide (courtesy of Dunkel as well) so it was getting pretty redonkulous.
What I really should be doing (aside from getting myself onto a regular sleep schedule rather than blathering at 1am) is finishing the cleaning here.
I got the whole place looking great except for some strewn clothes and papers in my bedroom. And of course my desk, as always, is a disaster area. The entry room is basically empty. I hung up a couple pictures and threw a bookshelf in there, but other than the rug on the floor and some swords shoved into a corner, it's totally empty and will probably stay that way for the most part. I intend to get a futon and eventually some kind of card table for if/when anyone (again, Dunkel) stays overnight. It's got a walk-in closet that is already serving me well as a dump-site for spare boxes.
My kitchen is spotless, like I always keep my kitchen when it's not shared with Chaos. There's no dishwasher (/cry) but at least there's a disposal and the water heats up. I also got to use an electric can opener for the first time, and I think I came a little. Basically two walls are entirely cabinets. The apartment doesn't lack for storage -- there's no way I'll fill up this place. I'm using two drawers for utensils and a couple cubbies for food, but half of a wall is pretty much pantry, and it's not going to get any love out of a poor bachelor's food supply.
The bathroom is pretty normal other than a pull-out hamper, which I'm sure will be stuffed full of clothes that I'm putting off washing at any given point.
The bedroom is ginormous and connects to the bath. It has a great bookshelf built into the wall, with room enough on one wall for my desk and bed both. The drawback is that I tend to fill open floor space with things that shouldn't be there (although I'm sure everyone would love to see my undershorts). Generally I keep a tidy house, though, and other than the hurricane that's bound to reside on my desk, I imagine once I get it cleaned up it'll stay that way for the most part.
My last apartment had some...unique...views. From the bedrooms you can see either nothing but leaves, or a highway. From the front room, a sidewalk, and from the kitchen, a brick wall. My current apartment actually has a really good vantage. On one side is the of course overly expensive Catholic church, which is attractive and interesting to look at in its own way. On the other side I can see honest-to-Gord sunsets for the first time in three cities.
One thing that strikes me is that it's pretty much totally quiet here. I went from living by a forest (which is noisier than you'd think), to a little section of urbana, to living next to a highway, and now into a town that for the most part has no pulse. I've gone out to the front steps in the middle of the night a couple times just to be outside, and it's actually fairly well trafficked. But with the church on one side, the rest of this house empty, the one across the street empty, and being located next to nothing of particular importance, it's fairly impossible to hear anything going on night or day.
To counter it I'll put on some music, but I can't play music and do anything really interactive on the computer at the same time, so I've just been cleaning while I listen. Any other property you went to would have been scrubbed top to bottom before it was even shown...this place wasn't so much as sneezed at. Just giving it a once-over took up most of the first two days, and there are still some things I haven't touched (like the blinds and fan blades).
I don't think I'll really -like- it here, but I don't think I'll dislike it either. I do have a couple contacts in town, but honestly don't have any plans to look them up until after I'm into a good routine of work. If the person moving in across the hall isn't a total scrub I'll probably just have an open-door policy when I'm here and encourage her to walk in without notice whenever the hell she feels like it. Even if she's a stupid bitch it's at least interaction. I'm not exactly a socialite, but after a few months of no contact whatsoever I get more edgy than usual.
All of that aside, as far as my personal existence goes, I'm just sick of feeling goddamn useless all the time. It's not like working at some shithole like Taco Bell would give my life greater meaning or anything, but at least I'd be able to feel like I was contributing something, or if nothing else, I'd feel more active. I'm trying to control my intake of both caffeine and alcohol a lot more, not because I really give a shit, but because later on people are going to expect me to -act- like I give a shit.
Becoming a cop isn't exactly the first on my list of jobs. Not in America, anyway. In America, I'll never have the right kind of pride or pleasure from it, and it'll always feel exactly like what it will be: waking up every day and putting on a mask that's socially (i.e. societally) acceptable. The same as I've done in every school and job and howdy-do to whatever stranger my whole life. Once a mask broke when I wasn't ready for it and didn't know how to handle it, and it pretty much fucked up my life. Now that I'm ready to be free of them all, leave it to capital to bend me over and force me to be contained in the cell of the land of the free.
If there's an afterlife and I find out I died in the line of duty enforcing American laws, I will be pissed as fuck.
Bleh, I don't have anything but the prattle. I really need to be getting to sleep, which means I'm going to go and read instead.
posted by red at 00:39
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