Black Widow
People so constantly pretend to be someone better than they really are to fit into certain niches that it would be redundant and superfluous to discuss it at any length.
My current entanglement, though, is quite the reciprocal. I'm presently in a situation that I have to take on the role of a person much more crass and even more unlikeable that my usual state. It's not much of an acting job to pretend to be just like the vast majority of the people I meet on the street. Stress the I, blow off any serious conversation, act a bit perverse, and give an impression that I'm quite a bit stupider and more carefree than I could ever be if...well, if I tried.
There are certain people and certain groups that it's imperative I not be accepted by or welcomed into for the time being. I made a poor judgment call without analyzing the psychological factors of the person it pertained to, and the result is that I have to put on the shittiest mask I can muster for at least a couple more months.
Careful words aside, it blows and I can't believe I was dumb enough that I didn't catch it as it was initially happening. The others involved don't even realize why they did what they did, so now I have to do this to keep things from going life-changingly disatrously out of proportion.
Such a heavy weight to carry, such a hard secret to keep. But I do it again, and again, and again. Someday maybe I'll learn. More than likely, though, some black-widow of a lady will just rise up to knock me down one more time.
It's becoming increasingly difficult to restrain myself from becoming a woman-hater.
My current entanglement, though, is quite the reciprocal. I'm presently in a situation that I have to take on the role of a person much more crass and even more unlikeable that my usual state. It's not much of an acting job to pretend to be just like the vast majority of the people I meet on the street. Stress the I, blow off any serious conversation, act a bit perverse, and give an impression that I'm quite a bit stupider and more carefree than I could ever be if...well, if I tried.
There are certain people and certain groups that it's imperative I not be accepted by or welcomed into for the time being. I made a poor judgment call without analyzing the psychological factors of the person it pertained to, and the result is that I have to put on the shittiest mask I can muster for at least a couple more months.
Careful words aside, it blows and I can't believe I was dumb enough that I didn't catch it as it was initially happening. The others involved don't even realize why they did what they did, so now I have to do this to keep things from going life-changingly disatrously out of proportion.
Such a heavy weight to carry, such a hard secret to keep. But I do it again, and again, and again. Someday maybe I'll learn. More than likely, though, some black-widow of a lady will just rise up to knock me down one more time.
It's becoming increasingly difficult to restrain myself from becoming a woman-hater.
posted by red at 00:27
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home