Myself Tomorrow

I had so much I wanted to do with my life and no one to ever help me get myself out of my own way so I could actually do it.

A phrase I hope to have no cause for repeating on my deathbed.

There's no one reason to live that encompases an entire life. There will be periods where the same answer to "why am I here" can blanket a short while. As I found out a number of years ago, the answer is too often "to find out why I am here." Coincidentally enough, the periods where you're lying in wait are the most torturous ones.

The only two things that have ever stood in my way with any force were capitalism and myself. I can at least correct one of those.

I've got to get over my eternal I'll-do-it-tomorrow hump.

I want to make better artwork tomorrow. I want to start relearning music tomorrow. I want to brush up on my Russian tomorrow. I want to work out tomorrow. I want to do well in school tomorrow. I want to read again tomorrow. I want to find a better job tomorrow. I want to feel good about myself tomorrow.

If I want to feel good about myself tomorrow, I'm going to have to start making some changes today. Every time I've made this exact same resolution I've tried to do everything at once and burned myself out quickly. This go-around, I'm really going to try and pace myself so that no matter how mundane and useless the tasks I set for myself are, I can actually get around to them.

Starting with re-learning a language that has almost no value in America.

What can I say, though. I'm tired of the convenience of being able to buy anything I could possibly need for a reasonable price at Wal-Mart.

Seriously.

I'm not going to get my ticket out of here by sitting and waiting for it to come in the mail.

So here's to climbing past the tallest wall I could ever have in front of me: myself.